Everyone Loves the Cock

…flavored soup!

cock

[SIDE NOTE: hmmm…I wonder how many people will mistakenly come across this page when they type “everyone loves the cock” into Google. Oh, who am I kidding? There’s no way this page will get ranked for that phrase!]

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If I had a Nickel…

for every time crews get served pizza for lunch, the financial crisis in California would be non-existent.

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[NOT PICTURED: the used condom under the picnic table]

Messy Messy

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Awesome thing #1: charcoal briquettes – maybe the crafty peeps were outside preparing the grill? This explains why the table is so messy.

Awesome thing #2: ski pole wedged between the two bags of charcoal – why? I. Don’t. Know.

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Awesome thing #3: a hot glue gun – seriously, a hot glue gun! I’ll have to admit that’s a first for me.

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NOTE: Apparently the glue gun was left ON, while the coffee maker stayed OFF.

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Awesome things #4 and #5: a half-made sandwich and half-eaten tomato covered with Starbucks napkins.

[SIGH] The joys of no-budget music video favors for friends.

Oh, Quit Yer Whining!

Working a cooking show sounds like it would be crafty heaven, right? WRONG! So what’s wrong with this picture?

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  1. It’s “a bunch of bagged chips and shit!” But hey, at least they had Combos, which are quite delightful.
  2. It’s out in the sun! The aftermath is shown below:

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Over time, crafty downsized from a nice glass table to a cheapie plastic one.

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Looks like I’m not the only one who likes Combos. Check over in grip staging – they (er…we)tend to hoard all the good stuff.

So how does this rank on the scale of being disserviced by crafty? Only a meager 1.5/10 due to the fact that the crew got to eat all the delicious steaks, entrees, appetizers, and desserts the chefs cooked for the show. I’ve worked on a cooking show before – for like 10 days! Who cares about crafty?! Filet mignon with a cabernet reduction, bitches!

Who Needs Tables?

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Not having permits is one thing. Not having a table is one thing. Not having a production vehicle where food can be stored is one thing.

But setting up a crafty table on garbage can lids? And garbage cans with contents, no less. Really?

Really?

REALLY?!?!

Mystery Meat

At first glance, the crafty table appeared modest and unassuming…

Then I looked closer and saw this…

The label actually read “salami”. Wait, really? I’m no cured sausage expert, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen salami that color before. Also, what kind of salami costs $3.99? Maybe the pig hearts and cardboard keeps the price low. Oh wait, cardboard is in China only.

NOTE: Big ups to production for picking up some bite size brownies from Sugar Bowl Bakery (San Fran represent, baby!)

Introducing…

This blog is dedicated to the sad – and sometimes downright laughable – crafty tables on film sets all over the globe. Sparse selection? Obscure offering? Take a photo and send an email to craftdisservice@gmail.com and it will be posted with any additional information you would like to provide.

The inaugural photo will be posted soon. Stay tuned!


Welcome

Have you or someone you know been disserviced by crafty? You've come to the right place. Take a snapshot and send the picture(s) to craftdisservice[at]gmail[dot]com

We're ready to believe you!